Saturday , 19 September 2020

welcome

At 74, Ron is the founder of “The American Society of Crotchety Old Men” and co-founder of “The International Association of Pranksters and Hoaxers.” He has sold jokes to the late Rodney Dangerfield, Joan Rivers, Henny Youngman and others. He spent over 30 years traveling nationally on the banquet circuit as well as doing “Opening Act” duties for various nationally known performers. 

My latest Jokes

The need for clarification...

She said, “Give me a newspaper”

and he told her newspapers are obsolete.

They have been replaced by laptops and iPads.

So she grabbed his iPad and BAM! 

That spider didn't know what hit it.

 

     (almost word-for-word from something I found on the Internet.)

Read More
Ron Dentinger

Ron Dentinger

Happier than Simon Cowell in a room full of mirrors.
Milwaukee

Big Families

 
I come from a very large family. 
As a kid I told my mother I loved her and she said,
“Oh.... that is SO sweet. Which one are you again?”  
 
The family was too big.
We not only slept in bunk beds 
at the kitchen table we had bunk chairs.  
 
The neighbors chipped in to buy my dad a vasectomy. 
Read More
Ron Dentinger

Ron Dentinger

Happier than Simon Cowell in a room full of mirrors.
Milwaukee

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Accidents happen...

 

    He calls and says, "Honey,

 

    I got hit by a car outside of the office.

 

    Paula took me to the Hospital.

 

    They did some tests and took some X-rays.

 

    I have a broken rib, a broken arm,

 

    and a hairline fracture in my left leg.  

 

   And she says, "Who's Paula?"

Read More
Ron Dentinger

Ron Dentinger

Happier than Simon Cowell in a room full of mirrors.
Milwaukee

Supermarket after hours...

The supermarket is closed for the night and the vegetables start talking.

The broccoli says, 'Look at me!  I look like a goddamned tree' 

The cantaloupe says, 'That's nothing. I look like a some guy's head.'

The walnut says, 'Ya, well I look like some guy's brain.'

And the banana says, 'Could we please change the subject?'

 

   (Reworked old bit. Origin unknown.)

Read More
Ron Dentinger

Ron Dentinger

Happier than Simon Cowell in a room full of mirrors.
Milwaukee

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

On violence and shootings...

There are only 2 good reasons that justify violence and shooting people.
 
The first is when you are angry. Especially when you are VERY angry.
A good example would be if your team loses a soccer game. 
 
The second is if you live in a big city and you see someone on the street.
Otherwise mob violense and shooting people is quite often wrong.
 
FYI: In metro areas, death from a drive-by shooting
is now categorized as: “Dying from natural causes.”
 
And studies now verify that 9 out of 10 people
directly involved in a gang-bang, enjoy it.
 
Or to put it another way: 
In a typical gang-bang, for each victim
there are 9 people just having some fun. 
 
I hope this has been helpful.
Read More
Ron Dentinger

Ron Dentinger

Happier than Simon Cowell in a room full of mirrors.
Milwaukee
Most Popular